So, don't fucking pinch me.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone!!

I wish I had a shirt that read, "Kiss me, I'm British!"

Oh, and a bible embossed with a shamrock!

Is this just random dk gibberish? Oh, babel! Nothing I say is nonsensical. And, besides that, you're the idiot pouring dye in your beer simply because we Americans decided to invent yet another holiday - yet another occasion for becoming sloppy and obliterated. Typical. Per usual. Relax, I'm not trying to rain on your St. Patty's Day Parade. But keep in mind...

The real St. Patrick wasn't even Irish!

He was born in Britain;

And, to an aristocratic Christian family.

He became a priest.

And spent his life in Ireland.

Attempting to convert the Irish to Christianity.

According to St. Patrick's Day folklore,

He used the three leaves of a shamrock to explain the Christian holy trinity:

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Whatever. Enjoy your beer and nonsense. But, please, drink responsibly and drive safely. Oh, and, amongst the Irish, green was long considered an unlucky color. So, don't fucking pinch me. Xo! dk