Me + Corporate = Impossible

A job opening made its way in to my inbox today. Among the skills required, the following was noted: "The belief that impossible – is POSSIBLE."

Wonderful. So. The job function essentially included, a complete disregard for Webster - not the little black dude but the dictionary - that clearly dictates a unique definition for each word in the English language. The same little resource that proves the 'impossible' is in fact NOT 'possible.'

It's these types of situations that: 1. make me dread the idea of searching for a job upon my return to the States and 2. make me realize I'm much too easily agitated and completely insane.

No matter. I'll just tell the hiring manager, "I believe the impossible, possible. And the insane, sane. Never you mind those pills of mine! Never you mind!"

With that interview in the bag, I'll have finally found a place for my insanity within the corporate world. If so, WOW the impossible is indeed possible!!!!

#I hate corporate!
dk

A, E, I, O, U

This one is my favorite.

Because I love vowels - not cupcakes.

marcjohns.com

dk

Cock Blocking Corporate Blokes

It's a good word.

Slowly, I'm becoming myself again. Today I recieved a compliment that reminds me how much I absolutely adore being me: "I love the way you intermix exemplary vocabulary and vulgarity... I can't get away with saying twat." 


Charmed, absolutely charmed. 


Xo!
dk 

Early signs of alcoholism

Early Signs of Alcoholism:

Lusting beer at pueberty

I am not a cat.

I am not a cat; I will not die.

dk

Mixed Media Girl

... because I secretly wish I were a Mixed Media Girl.

View all Mixed Media Girls

Artist: Nikki Farquharson

Winnie the Pooh hates me.

" It's more fun to talk to someone who doesn't use long, difficult words, but rather short, easy words like 'what about lunch?' " - Winnie the Pooh


I'd bet my vowels and croutons that Pooh Bear would prove to be the least invigorating lunch date. A worthless conversationalist, no doubt. Besides, who wants to share a meal with a scumbag who double dips his greedy hands in a honey jar anyway? Stupid bear. 

Three years overdue for retirment.

A skilled Art Director is able to graphically represent an elaborate concept with simple yet precise accuracy. Special thanks to the talented craftsman of my retirement concept. Indeed... well-executed. Although, it seems I've lost track of time - and my own priorities. I'm three years overdue for retirement.

dk

Member of the Month

I suppose, had I subscribed to a dating period greater than one month, I could have perhaps gained myself the additional [1] vote that would have advanced me... Member of the Month, so darn close!

Damn.

dk

Happy Birthday Song

I've never been a fan of a organized recreation. Further, I rebuke organized celebration.

I don't like structure. I don't like order. And, I certainly don't like people singing in unison. So, on my birthday, I tend to avoid friends - and family. And with utmost caution, I steer absolutely clear of chain establishments that might force employees to drop their silverware-napkin-wrapping in order to contribute their individual efforts to the greater sum; to collectively subject patrons to a high-pitched, corporate-established script sprinkled with pseudo-enthusiastic theatrics. No thanks. Besides, Lily Allen has already sung my song for the year.

Happy Birthday me.

Xo!
dk

As soon as things get difficult, I walk away.

" As soon as things get difficult, I walk away. That's the great secret of creativity. You treat ideas like cats: you make them follow you. If you try to approach a cat and pick it up, hell, it won't let you do it. You've got to say, 'Well, to hell with you.' And the cat says, 'Wait a minute. He's not behaving the way most humans do.' Then the cat follows you out of curiosity: 'Well, what's wrong with you that you don't love me?' "

Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing

That quote considered, I suppose I live an extremely creative life. As soon as things get difficult, I walk away.

Walk. Away.

dk

I take my career as seriously as any raindeer.

Today at work...

A symbol of marriage.

and should I ever again decide to condemn myself to commitment...

the band that strangles my freedom (and my left ring finger),

must be appropriately designed.

a symbol of marriage.

http://mocoloco.com/galleries/gallery/lady-killer-vol-1-by-atelier-ted-noten-with-laikingland/

then again... maybe I should just buy it for myself.

it's fucking perfect.

dk

Apparently, August 7th is Friendship Day.

Happy demise-of-friendship-in-favor-of-sex day!

I'd drink to that.

Xo!
dk

[dih-key]

dk

–verb (used without object)
1. to become decomposed; rot: vegetation that was decaying.
2. to decline in excellence, prosperity, health, etc.; deteriorate.
3. Physics . (of a radioactive nucleus) to change spontaneously into one or more different nuclei in a process in which atomic particles, as alpha particles, are emitted from the nucleus, electrons are captured or lost, or fission takes place.

–verb (used with object)
4. to cause to decay or decompose; rot: The dampness of the climate decayed the books.

–noun
5. decomposition; rot: Decay made the wood unsuitable for use.
6. a gradual falling into an inferior condition; progressive decline: the decay of international relations; the decay of the Aztec civilizations.
7. decline in or loss of strength, health, intellect, etc.: His mental decay is distressing.
8. Also called disintegration, radioactive decay. Physics . a radioactive process in which a nucleus undergoes spontaneous transformation into one or more different nuclei and simultaneously emits radiation, loses electrons, or undergoes fission.
9. Aerospace . the progressive, accelerating reduction in orbital parameters, particularly apogee and perigee, of a spacecraft due to atmospheric drag.

Equality and Liberty, numbered but not named.

And, by nothing I tend to mean everything. That said,
It's not my place to criticize one for their hypocrisy.
As clearly I take pride in my own. Regularly.

How can the concept of "you" exist without the concept of "I?" And, if individuality were an ideal... Why then, would one submit to the desires of another? Walk their 'own' path dictated by steps that came before? And, with the ultimate ambition of reaching a destination that allows opportunity for verbalizing total submission? Don't ask me questions for which I can provide no answer. We don't understand. And by we, I clearly mean I. And by I, I clearly mean EGO. And by EGO, we clearly haven't a clue what we mean. This cute little book is more a sweet love story than it is a profound advocate of individuality. At least we think. And though I've never been a sucker for a love story, I'd recommend this read - if for no other reason than its brief format. And unique, though not breathtaking, style.

Enjoy.

Xo!
dk

Advice to Little Girls

"Good little girls always show marked deference for the aged. You ought never to 'sass' old people unless they 'sass' you first."

Mark Twain (Advice to Little Girls)
Illustrated by: Vladimir Radunsky
View the entire book, here.

Google search: hobbies

Those therapists (i.e. family & friends) who've encouraged me to set standards for my dating life are now insisting that I engage hobbies. Um? Duh! Frivolous dating IS a hobby! They disagree. Fine. I googled it: hobbies. And, still, I'm not interested! Look, I'm not freaking gardening. Or collecting stamps. Or coins. I'm not scrap booking. I'm not baton twirling. And not fucking trimming any bonsai bullshit.

My god life sans self-inflicted mental disorientation and unnecessary emotional anguish is so mundane.

Boring!
dk

In the hands of humans.

Chocolate won't change this. Sex won't relieve this. Cigarettes won't help - and whiskey only provides temporary relief. It is what it is. This is what happens when God grants free will. When He places life in the hands of heathens.